At last...

AND IT'S NAME IS..... LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally went, ya'll!!! And it was GLORIOUS, just like I imagined it to be.

We left on the 11:42 train from Durham with a ridiculous amount of suitcases. We shifted and shifted seats until we could get one of those train tables with four seats. Well, there were five of us, but the non-brown person (who shall remain nameless) sat alone---segregation at its finest.

He's not racist, you guys. He's Eastern European. He probably just hates all the other Eastern European ethnicities,  right?

Anyway--we got to London after three hours of contemplating the English countryside and playing some stupid card game that no one cares about and it's stupid because I was winning 'til I wasn't-- YOU SUCK HOW DARE YOU!

We got to King's Cross Station and waited for a friend of a friend (who we were going to stay with--don't judge, I am poor... but this will prove to be a bad idea later).

I guess I should tell you people's names, so you understand this narrative better:
Turban, Little Girl, Honey Boo Boo, Grumpy Cat.

Grumpy Cat left us at the station because he was meeting his old school friends. So that left only the brownies. Honey Boo Boo has a friend who lives in London, with whom both him and Turban were staying and I was going to tag along for one night. The first night, however, I was going to stay with my dear friend, Little Girl.

Ok--Little Girl gave me permission to use her real name--Irene.

First stop was Honey Boo Boo's friend's dorm, where we left our stuff. We found out that this nice American student named Chelsea had let us borrow her room while she was home for the holidays. Chelsea, I don't know you, but I already love you.

Then we went to eat Indian food--good stuff. Basically we had the Indian version of burritos: "rolls"

Then I was asked "so what do you want to see?" Really? You are asking the person who has never been to London. Sigh.... let's just say that I was given two options and I picked the wrong one: we walked for over an hour, through Oxford street (which is holiday shopping Pandemonium) to Hyde Park (which, at night, is basically just a landfill for all I care). Why did we come to Hyde Park, you ask? Well, because of "Winter Wonderland", a Christmas carnival. SERIOUSLY? Like the Christmas carnival they have in every single city in the Western hemisphere. Like Kemah Boardwalk any day of the year.

Cristina I, queen of the Texas Republic, was not impressed.

I'm not going to lie--I wanted to cry. We were wasting precious time at a theme park. I could have been looking at Buckingham, Big Ben, Tower of London, etc etc (so I guess I DID know what I wanted to see but wasn't vocal enough about it *facepalm*)

Well, at least I got to see thousands of people walking in packed streets and awesome Christmas lights. Yay.

At the end of the night, Irene and I hopped on the "tube" (underground metro) and went to Northeast London to stay at her aunt's place. We had an amazing bed and I was treated so very kindly. It was great. Also, chocolate mousse. We stayed up until late talking about God, the Virgin Mary, home. It was nice. Love ya, Rini! 

DAY TWO

Wake up, get ready, breakfast, hop on that Jaguar (YES A JAGUAR, OMG). Get on the tube.

By the way, I became an expert on the Tube because... well, let's just say Irene is not very tube-savvy. But don't fear, remember I traveled to San Francisco alone with my 14 year old sister with no smart phone but only a map--- I am like the Sherlock Holmes of maps....or something.

Let's do the run down:

1. St. Paul's Cathedral. WOW TO THE WOW TO THE WOW. Huge. Gorgeous... or so I hear, because you have to pay 15 pounds to go in there. So, be satisfied with the outside of it.

2.  London's financial district from afar--no time to stop to see thieves and bankers.

3. The Tower Bridge--you know, the one where they hanged the olympic rings from. Yep.

4. The Tower of London. DUDE THIS PLACE IS AWESOME. If there is anywhere in London you need to go, this is it. History of England right thurrrr. Anne Boleyn is buried here (because Henry had her killed here!). Oh, and they have THE CROWN JEWELS here. You know... the Queen's crown and stuff. With the gold and diamonds and precious stones. And the scepter and the golden spoons and the royal robe thingy. You can't take pics of this, of course.

5. Trafalgar Square. OH WOW. What a place!! There are giant lions, and pretty buildings, and carol singers,and a cactus-looking Christmas tree. Fun fact: I tried to climb up to ride on of these lions and it went very poorly. An Indian who shall remain nameless tried to help and only succeeding in getting a very concise grasp of my arse. Lucky lad. 

Indian Sandwich. Also, we have the same coat.

I tried to climb up there... yeah, didn't work out.

6. BIG BEN! This was the moment when I almost cried. To think... how many years did I dream with this moment? To come to London, to see Benny (lol). Take it all in!!!!!!!! I wish it were human-I'd totally marry that guy.

7. London Eye: or, boring ferris wheel that only I wanted to get into. We didn't. $$$$$

8. Westminster Abbey was closed. But I did take a killer pic with its facade. LOL

9. BUCKINGHAM PALACE---yo yo yo, Harry!! I know you are in there. I'm finally here, darling! Let's get married! OH... guards? why.. no.. I... ok, ok, I'll leave...

10. That awkward moment when you get lost in London for two hours, then you go to a horrible Turkish restaurant, FORGET YOUR BAG FULL OF SOUVENIRS THERE, and panic when you get back to the room. Luckily, they had it there when I came back. I was so grateful I didn't even tell them their food sucked.


Anyway, it was sooo much fun. Next time I'll have to actually go into places. But for one day, I'd say it's pretty good.

And then the next day...