Oh, you know, not much, just living in England and stuff.
You know, every time I sit here to write, I completely forget what I was going to say. Yet, all throughout the day, I'm constantly thinking "This is totally blog-worthy!"
So, to help my memory, I like to make lists. I also like to make lists because I am a control freak.
Now, you are going to have to excuse me, but I have been feeling rather blue in the past few days. Yes, it's that time of the month.
Let's move on (everyone, come with me).
1. I have horrible, almost unbearable hip pain. Yes, I guess all the walking finally took its toll on my 90-year-old body. I think it's also due to that one fall I told you about a couple blog posts ago. Anyway, I can feel my hip bones like... grinding (twerking?) against each other. It has caused me to stop walking as much and to take the bus more, which I detest because
2. The free bus system here (free for students) is ALWAYS LATE. I've had to wait up to 40 minutes for a bus. Since I'm pretty much American, I find this to be a torture. Waiting? REALLY? And speaking of waiting
3. Waiters are horrible. In England, the waiting staff does not depend on tips at all. This basically means they can get away with a lot of crap. People ain't tipping anyway, so why emotional-labor your way into their hearts? We went to an Indian restaurant on Saturday and the waiter was soooooooooooooooooo incredibly upset because only 7 of the 8 people we made a reservation for showed up. Then he was upset because we were taking our time to order. I, with all my experience in customer service, naturally wanted to knock him unconscious.
The same thing happened at one of the pubs. We were trying to order food (yes, you have to get up and go order at the counter. No one comes around) and the bartender said, waving his hands in the air, "I don't have time." I grabbed my things and left. Ain't nobody got time for that.
4. I have to go out with a thin jacket on or else I become a walking sauna. It's horrible, because I'm cold at first, then I walk, warm up, then I'm completely soaked, and I get cold, but I can't put my jacket back on because it's wet. SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF JACKETS?! MIGHT AS WELL GO OUT NAKED.
5. I cannot get any work done. I start reading only to fall asleep on my bed or get distracted by people outside my room (i.e. two Indian men singing Adele songs). I am so behind on my reading and yet I am sitting here writing this instead of reading Lazarillo de Tormes.
6. I had my first real class today. It sucked. I'm sorry, it just did. The professor is GREAT and the other students are BRILLIANT. So, naturally, everyone communicates everything telepathically. Words are a waste of time. Moreover, the classmate that makes the most comments has the thickest accent ever, so I cannot understand a word he says.
Excerpt from class [transcribed to the best of my ability]:
Prof: Yes, let's talk about the unspeakability (not an actual word) in Dorian Gray. What about art and sex? Aesthetics and Decadence? Beauty and desire?
Student: sdkfasd asdasdjvadfcvandf avdf adfv awrfgvaek wef ansdvlaksd asdcnasdsmdfna sdga dfasdfjas dfklasjdf sdkfjas kljaw erfawosfjasdf ag
Prof: HAHA! Excellent point, you are absolutely right. Has any of you read Dr. Seuss' To Kill a Mockingbird? Well Seuss mentions the theory of relativity in relation with gender roles in 13th century Indonesia. And that's just what this is.
Me:
In other words, I am lost.
7. Downton Abbey has been freaking horrific. YES, THAT'S WHY I AM SO UPSET AND THIS LIST IS SO NEGATIVE. I am so depressed. I want my mommy. I want cookies and Christmas TV movies and Pope Francis videos.
8. I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and the lady that booked it over the phone was VERY RUDE, so I am scared and not looking forward to it.
9. My student loan money came in last week, but get this: it takes A WHOLE WEEK for my bloody British bank to accredit the deposit to my account. Like... yes, you read right, 5 business days. That's a million years in America. Meanwhile, I continue to live off charity.
10. I have cramps.
NOW, I need to make an effort to be positive, right? So I can at least come up with a short list of positive things:
1. I made some Jesus-loving friends! I am very happy to be able to share my fandom of the Big G! This comes in handy in a time when one is so far away from family.
2. I cooked a full-blown Mexican Feast for my dorm friends and they loved it! People here think I can actually cook!! (no Southern Belles to compete against, phheeew).
3. As part of the college dorm experience, my flatmates decided to set the fire alarm off last night at 11:30 p.m. It was a great opportunity to finally meet all those introverted people who now hate everybody in flat 1 because we woke them up in a school night. It was pretty hilarious.
4. I went to a formal dinner! It's like a super fancy, three-course dinner at the Castle. While we wear our robes. It's pretty ridiculous: they have a security guard making sure no one stands up or puts their elbows on the table. Yes, like an actual muscular security guard for that shit. And no, no one is allowed to stand up, not even to go to the toilet. You have to wait until the main guy, the master (apparently of the universe) gets up. These brits are pretty cray about tradition. Ironically, the conversation was as trashy as an episode of Geordie Shore.
5. I went to my college's soccer try-out and actually did really well, so I'll be able to play intramural soccer. Except my hip is a mess. But that's why I'm going to the doc doc in 2 days!
6. I was invited to join a book club at church. I don't like the idea of reading an extra book, but I do love the fact that I was invited by a local. Maybe I'm doing something right?
Parenthesis: you know when people call a quirky person "an old soul." I don't think that's what an old soul is. My idea of an old soul is a person that gets along better with people who are much older (who could be your mom or your grandparent). So, me. Although I must say... I seem to have the ability to connect with people of all ages except those in my own age cohort (22-28). Ah well, my mom knows I'm not normal.
7. I ate Indian food for the first time and I loved it!!!
8. I got to go on a night tour of Durham Cathedral and it was awesome AND they finally did let us take some pictures, which is remarkable. To make it even better, I went to this tour with a Sikh. L O L
9. I was asked to join the church choir! I know, amazing, right? Except I would have to go to the mass at 6:30 p.m. and walk home, alone, after mass, in the dark, lonely streets of Sunday Durham. On a quick note: Monday morning Durham is quite a sight to see: puke on the street, beer-piss odor, gloomy and hungover town--a reflection of its inhabitants.
10. I bought an umbrella for cheap, lost it at the bus station, and had a friend find it, a few hours later, in the same spot where I had left it and bring it back to me. What an amazing feeling!
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