Heart Failure

 

I

am sick.

Desperately sick

feverishly sick

ravenously sick

They say it's my heart

that it can't go on like it has

that it's been just too much 

too long

It's rare, maybe congenital 

it is strained

the muscle overstretched 

does not function properly

How could it, really?

it has loved wrongly

it has hoped blindly

it has trusted foolishly

And it just cannot take it anymore

the silence

the coldness

the lack

This existential myocarditis 

I'm told I don't have much time

There's either a full transplant

or letting myself die--

So, do I choose to stay me 

and bleed

or have a change of heart

and never feel

I am sick.

Brutally sick

Perpetually sick

Exhaustingly sick

And I just don't want to be.