I'M BACK, PUNKS!!!
It's been sooo long, huh? I'm so sorry, my life's been crazy! But you all look great--did you lose some weight? I know I didn't!
OH MY, I have been wondering how to approach this giant task of telling you all about the past three weeks in an hilarious--yet efficient--way. But there is not way I can do it, so I'll just ramble on!
SHALL WE START, THEN?
Oh, that reminds me! Before the trip I told myself that I was going to keep a diary of the whole experience so as not to forget the important things I needed to tell you. But then, as you all know, I couldn't follow through. So allow me to share whatever it is I did manage to jot down:
APRIL 21ST, 2014
And so it begins... I didn't finish--or, rather, I didn't start my essay on Literature of Masculinity, so needless to say... I am worried. Also, Italy? That is surreal... almost as surreal as the guy massaging his girlfriend's boobs in front of me here at the Durham train station, where I am sitting wondering why I didn't go to sleep earlier last night. To be fair, he might be rubbing her back--but since he is standing in front of her and has his hands under her coat, it just looks really wrong from this angle--seriously.
Note to self: don't sit on a table seat when traveling alone... it is very awkward to have to stare at two strangers trying to sleep. What is one to do with one's self?
Enjoying an awesome raspberry muffin and cappuccino. Yup, still in the UK. York train station is nice. Fresh crisp breeze of a spring morning. One Love playing in the background. Reading Henry James. I'm basically a hipster, right?
Somewhere between Leeds and Manchester, I saw a HOLLYWOOD sign.
Suddenly it has started to stink of feet, and I know what you are thinking--but it wasn't me! My grossness is all perfectly sealed in. Also, new guy in front of me in train has terrible breath. Also, I need a bathroom, ASAP.
In a very Bond-esque move, I abridged security measures at the airport to go back to the security checkpoint to recover my water bottle. The only thing in my mind was:
What would J̶e̶s̶u̶s̶ Liam Neeson do?
The only problem was that, all along, my water bottle was in my back pack.
I have arrived at Bergamo Airport! It is raining--the English weather haunts me in an effort to perpetually keep my skin yellow. Also, Italians are nuts. They were so loud on the plane (and I come from a family of five--I can take loud), talking from one side of the plane to the other, cutting in front of people at the queue, unbuckling their seatbelts before time and CLAPPING WHEN WE LANDED? What?
Riding a coach to the main Milan metro station. Milan kind of reminds me of home!
Ran into my friend Elena at the station--this is good, considering I'm staying at her house and she is probably the sanest Italian in the world. We went (luggage and all) to the Duomo (Cathedral), which is SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL OMG.
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| right next door to the Duomo |
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| The Galleria |
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| Hip Hop Leo |
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| I just want my mommy.................... D: |
They didn't let me into the Duomo because I had my luggage with me. We went to a park instead. My poor suitcase suffers... but, good times, right? I mean, it's been to the beach...
We got to Elena's house and all I could manage to say in Italian was 'ciao'. Now I know the amount of anxiety my mom must feel about not speaking the dominant language. Mrs. Zanotti made roast, pasta, and we had strawberries for dessert. That's the stuff! Mr. Zanotti was super cool and helped me find out where Elizabeth Barrett Browning is buried. We bonded over the fact that we are both immigrants--he is from Bologna. LOL.
APRIL 22ND, 2014
Today we saw too many things.
(this is the part of the diary when I start getting tired about writing so much and my hand-writing becomes practically unreadable--and just after one day!)
The nice part of the Canal, the Ambrosia museum, the church of Santa Maria, the church of St. Ambrose--patron saint of Milan--with his remains (a fancy skeleton) on display! Interesting fact: St. Ambrose made his own liturgical rite, so that the diocese of Milan is not ROMAN Catholic, but Ambrosian.
We also went to mass at the cathedral--WHAT! And St. Charles Borromeo is buried there--WHAT! The priest that celebrated the mass was so old and fragile I thought he would fall apart at any moment. Also, thirty Koreans showed up to mass, which was great, since it took all the attention from me taking photos...
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| the canal |
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| random giant church |
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| massive stained glass at the Duomo |
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| The Cathedral |
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| The cathedral |
Couldn't see The Last Supper, though. It was sold out on that day.
Mrs. Zanotti made rice for dinner, and we also had bread, tomatoes with oil, salami, and cheese. The Italian Deliciousness Marathon continues.
Just saw Tom Cruise on TV--dubbed in Italian. Still an idiot.
Note: Italian men (unfortunately not the extremely handsome ones) stare at one as if they had x-ray vision. Oh, so they're Mexican!
APRIL 23RD, 2014
OMG--Florence
Arrived in Florence and somehow managed to find my friend's hotel. I think if they threw me in the Hunger Games arena I would be okay (though very hungry).
After doing our make-up and talking about the fact that it was easier to meet up in Italy than in freaking Houston, we set out to explore the city:
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| that last horse... it looks like a delivery truck.... |
Then I saw the famous cathedral. Is this real life? Am I really here????????
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| First glimpse of the Duomo |
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| Mind blown |
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| Awe-inspiring |
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| Peekaboo |
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| "El Deivid" |
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| Stunning (oh, and the river and stuff) |
Had to run away from a street vendor that wouldn't leave me alone! I never learn!!! DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THESE PEOPLE.
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| Can Italy handle so much cuteness? Yes, yes it can. |
Went to mass at the Duomo----WOW. What a beautiful place, there are no words!!!!
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| all the flowers for the King! |
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| no picture will ever do the Duomo justice |
But screw it! It was totally worth it:
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| The view from the top of the hill (mountain) |
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| From Piazza di Michelangelo |
That has got to be one of those moments that I will remember forever. One of the most beautiful sights I've seen in my life--just like a freshly made bacon cheeseburger.
Oh, then a cute Asian couple asked me to take a picture of them, and I did a really good job, so next thing you know there was a line of people wanting me to take their photo. Should have charged.
After that we went to have some dinner out in the square and we laughed until we cried remembering that I had tried to wash my foot on that one thing next to the toilet:
And also continued to laugh about the following:
In the afternoon, as I was staring at the replica of Michelangelo's David outside the Palazzo Vecchio, I exclaimed: 'Is it really that big?' and remained silent for a few seconds. Monica's mom just looked at me, mouth wide open, in disbelief. What I had meant was 'Is the original statue really that size?' but I'm afraid it took me too long to clarify that.
APRIL 24TH, 2014
Good news! Someone other than me was the one talking in her sleep last night at the hostel--yay! She was really concerned about her luggage being stolen.
Oh, and the hostel was superb! Clean, nice, and the reception guy was very handsome, too, hehe. Recommending to everyone, even though it is in a building with a bunch of doctors' offices.
And it's quite far from the city centre. Last night I walked (luggage and all) to the hostel at 11 p.m. Because you know... that's how we poor people do. Needless to say, I summoned all the legions of angels to protect me on my thirty minute odyssey.
This morning I woke up late and almost missed my appointment at the Uffizi Gallery. But you know Italians--they are not too crazy about being on time. Thank God. I saw paintings by Leonardo, Botticelli, Michelangelo, Rafaello, Caravaggio, Rembrandt... it was FREAKING AWESOME.
Then after I went to the English Cemetery:
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| The English Cemetery, where Elizabeth Barrett Browning is buried. |
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| Mary's other fiat in the flesh!!!! #catholiclamejokes |
And this:
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| Apparently, I have a naughty store in Florence. It's doing well, thanks for asking! |
Favorite church of the day: Santa Croce.
OFF TO ROME NOW!
LOOK FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THIS ADVENTURE COMING SOON!!!!!
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